I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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