Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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