We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
