yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
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He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
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Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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