it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
