Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
