he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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