Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
