I met the friendliest cop last night
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
