next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
