Screwed.edu
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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