I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
