Dual....:-)
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if only i could text you this smell
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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