3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
