I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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