When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
