Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize