I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
try to milk me bitch
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
