using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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