Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
