she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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