this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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