I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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