My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
