is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
