i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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