Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
