i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
