You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's blow job season.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
