alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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