i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My dick has a subreddit
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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