I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
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Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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