I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
try to milk me bitch
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
