At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
