I can't watch pbs sober anymore
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
