If i come over, it means nothing
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
