I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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