i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
