She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
