You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Randomize
