i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
