I hate your face
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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