Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
They are going to name an STD after you.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
