I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
