I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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