all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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