when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
