So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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