i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
