meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
