I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If I die, sorry about rent.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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