i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
