i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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