Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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