Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
