I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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