Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize