its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
