Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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