video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
