Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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