I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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