Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
