Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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