Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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