I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
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