he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
