Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
