whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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