Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
