so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
