i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think your dad took our porno
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
